Sunday, April 19, 2009

Mokkai Bazaar – Part 1


STATUTORY WARNING !!!


Reading this article can cause serious damage to the Brain and cause the reader to become more crazier than the writer himself. Symptoms can be biting ones teeth often and bleeding from the inner ear.



Letz start with it right away…. for the brave ones….



What is Mokkai ??? Definition Edhaavadhu irukku ???


"Namma dhaan Anna University syllabus la padichavangalaache… Definition nu edhaavadhu kudutha dhaana nammalukku konjam aavadhu puriyum…. Seri… Define panniduvom.. :) "


Mokkai is a systematic degenerative disorder of human brain essentially causing the psychosed one who is telling it to utterly blabber some very disturbing facts or figments of human imagination to run amok causing a vivid but essentially meaningless diarrhoea of words, thoughts, actions, adventures or actually something may be short of a blatant lie having its roots deeply anchored in realism yet something.


"Ada… Nalla Olarina madhiri irukkae... !!!

Hmm… Seri.. Paravalae konjam perusa irukku… So Ok

Indha madhiri ezhudhi dhaana naa BE eh PASS pannaen…. So… More than enough.

Ok…. To start with…. Lets look into this Million Dollar Question and find an Answer.. "



Hen or Egg ?


" Mudhalla Kozhi vandhucha, Ila Mutta vandhucha ???? "



" Nerayaa Paerukku Indha Doubt irukku...

Modhalla.. Adhukku namma Answer pannuvoom,,,,

Ellaarumae Kaetukkonga,....

Answer enna na....

KOZHI dhaan modhal la vandhuchu

Epdi nu Neenga Kaeppinga...

Adhukku answer irukku....

Basic Logic..."


" Kozhi dhaan Varum.... Pogum...

Aana Mutta epaayumae Angayae dhan irukkum.... (0!0!0) "


Adhanal... Kozhi dhan Modhalla vandhuchu....

Mutta Illaa..... :) :) :)

Ipdiyae continuousa Ear ripping Blade mokkai vandhuttae irukkum….

Epdiyaavadhu Uyiroda irundhu padichidunga…"


Seri.. NEXT…


An old lady put A dog inside a vessel, kept it closed and opened it after an hour. Surprisingly, she found a Dozen dogs in it.

How was that possible??


Ans:: Coz.... ' Empty vessels make more NAAYS '


Idhu eppadi…. ????


Next is,,, Even better..


Billion $ Puzzle (“LIGHTER” Vein)


You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?


"Therlaya ????

Seri… Kaetukkonga

Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER.

Using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette


Another throat ripping (Kazhutha Arukkura) Answer...


You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches.

Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette...



He he…. Lolz…

Innum neraya mokkai,,,, Irukkunga…. !!!!


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Once ther was a major Traffic Jam

No one could move an inch...

Suddenly One Guy comes there with a bow and arrow and the traffic gets cleared..

How is this possible ??


Therlaya ???

Where there is a "VIL" (BOW) there is a way...


Ha Ha.. :)


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Idhu neenga adhutha dhadava,,, ungaloda friend eh paatha kelunga....

Nalla Adi Vaanguveenga...


Two guys met after a long long time..

The guy said "abbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb"

The other person asked what does tat mean...???



He replied "abbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb" and no "c" (In the order of ABC in alphabets)

He means... Long time no see(C)....


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Two palli's (lizards) are fighting on a wall and one fell down...

Adha paathu innoru palli sirichuchu..

But after that... Andha palliyum keela vilundhuduchu...

Why .. ?


Ans : Andha palli kai thattikitae sirichichu.. adhan ...


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Idhu…. Scientists lam kooda idhu varaikkum yosikkaadha Onnu


Y do the sea levels rise?


Bcos of global warming the temp of the earth rises...

Causing it to be hotter... Therefore d fish r sweating more

Hence, Sea Level rises :) :) :)



" Enna correct dhananga ???

Don shout at me saying…. It was a very “MEEN” joke…. He he "




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The central government exercising its power confirmed upon it by the constitution in the present schedule tried to create a new state called Kerala- Nadu, by mixing some parts of Tamilnadu and some parts of kerala. 3 cities were chosen to make it capital which were Coimbatore, Erode and Kozhikode.

Problem is that there are huge thefts in these areas. So people used to keep things locked. In Coimbatore they keep pens that were not used in lock. In Erode, they keep dress materials and footwears tightly locked in safe. In Kozhikode, they keep cap and rings locked.

Which city should be chosen as capital?



It is Kozhikode. Because...

It contains Caps lock... :)




"Thaangalaya….. ???? Lolz….."


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One man tries to keep his cellphone on table it falls....

He tries to keep it in his pocket it falls...

Where ever he keeps his cellphone it falls ...

WHY ????


Yean na Cellphone la Balance ila... :)


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Oru oorla oru payan oru nai oda biscuit and plate thookitu odran..

Andha nai avana thorathuthu...

4km ku apram avan antha naiku rendayum kudukuran...

Modhala edha vangum????


Nai kita kudutha... MoDhala (crocodile) epadi vangum ???


"Ayoo... Ayooo ...Ha ha..."


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Oru roomla oruthan thunguran andha roomla four doors iruku. All are closed.

A Girl knocks the 1st door

A Dog barks at the 2nd door

A Lady bangs the 3rd doorand

A old man is standing by the 4th door

Avan first edha thorapan?


Ada... First Avan Kanna thorapan!!


"This Mokka was a real “EYE” Opener I guess…. He he… "


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Oru Car eh 8 sardarji saendhu thallinanga aana car nagaravae illa

Yaen ????


Aena....4 pushing from front... 4 from back


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Lifela vetri na enna nu theriyuma?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ada mazhayila un veetu maram fulla eerama irukumae adhu dhan

"Wet Tree"....



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Abdul Kalam wanted to go around the world. First he went to China, they gave him Corn Syrup.. then he went to London they gave him Chocolate sauce syrup, and finally when he went to New York he had cough, they gave him cough syrup. Why?


Yaen na Katrorukku sendra idamellam SYRUP :)



“ Kalam sir sonna madhiri dream panna…. Ippadi dhaan yosikka mudiyudhu…

Enna Koduma Kalam sir idhu…. “


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"Seri… Indha kadhai eh kaelunga…."


Once Donald Duck was narrating mickey mouse..ramayanam n mickey was fooling around.Donald Duck got furious n asked mickey "Who is Rama's father?"

Mickey said Ravana. Donald got mad n threw mickey against the wall.

Mickey sat on the wall n narrated Ramayana without a flaw!!!

HOW ??? ???


Coz... It became Valmiki(wall-mickey)


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Indha Arnakayiru nu solraangale adhu yarudhu ???

Mokkachamy : Aruna vodatha.... ???


“Idellam Nejamaalumae Ukkandhu Yosippaangalo ??? “


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A person went to pondicherry to buy a tamil DVD.He bought the movie kadhal.He came back to Madras and watched the movie many times.And after that he kept the DVD in the fridge..

Why ???


Because he wanted to see the movie "JILLUNU ORU KADHAL".


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A Rat came to a house and ate all the fruits and went away, but left just One fruit.

What was the name of that fruit?



”ELE-MICHCHAM PAZHAM”


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"Oru Software Engineer eh irudhuttu… Computer Mokkai Ila na Eppadi…."


COMPUTER MOKKAI's


Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club.

Somu : Public member or private?


Ramu : Hey.. My submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong ?

Somu : May be u have used float instead of double in the software.


Girl : Hey , Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to her..?

Boy : Sure.. why not ? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by reference.

Girl : ??? !!!


Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...

Somu : How do u say that ?

Ramu : He asked my physical address instead of my home address !


Ramu : Shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the next cabin must be a farmer before.

Somu : How do u know...?

Ramu : He asked me today that is there a way to cultivate the Bit fields..!!


Computer : Please sit over the hard disk to compress the files !

Computer : please pour Engine oil in the floppy drive to enhance the performance of Search Engine.


Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?

Somu : It seems, he asked one of them that whether "Vande mataRAM" is new kind of RAM in the market !


Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive.

Somu : How do u say that?

Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.


Ramu : Hey.... Whats time now?

Somu : System time or local time...??


Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up!

Somu : May be, its internal buses are on strike.. Check out !


Ramu : (While browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus.

Whats this Star Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?

Somu : No..... = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.


Ramu : I think that SW Engg is new.

Somu : How do u say that?

Ramu : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal !



Ramu : Hey.. U know.. MS Visual C++ 6.0 has got everything. The "Developer" Studio can really do magic.

Somu : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?


Ramu : Why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a cloth?

Somu : Clear command is not working properly for my terminal.That’s why !!!


Ramu : Yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working.

Somu : May be its compatible only with dumb terminals ???


Vani : We have shifted our home to KK Nagar now.

Soni : Right shift or Left shift??


Kannamma : Do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?

Ponnamma : U mean recipe..?


Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's harassing me too much.

Somu : What case ? Upper Case or Lower Case ???


Husband : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now logged in."


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Wife And Husband Conversation !!!


Wife : Have you brought the ring ?

Husband : Bad command or filename.

Wife : But I told you in the morn...

Husband : Erroneous syntax.

Wife : What about my new blouse ?

Husband : Variable not found ...

Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...

Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?

Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...

Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.

Husband : Data type mismatch.

Wife : You are a useless nut.

Husband : Default Parameter.

Wife : What about your Salary ?

Husband : Access denied. File in use...

Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?

Husband : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot


"Ennanga… Seriya Puriyala ya ….????

Appo vidunga….

Most eh Ungalukku Brain…

“Array Index Out Of Bounds “ nu nenaikraen.... :)

He He


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" Indha Madhiri Mokka Podra Mokkachamys ellam eppadi adikardhu nu yosikreengala….??? "

" Avanga lam… Unga koodayae dhan ga irukkaanga….

Seri… Avangala easy eh Kandu Puidkka na help panra… "


You should be sure the person is Mokkachamy when he :


• Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.

• Tries to drown a fish in water.

• Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

• Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.

• Trips over a cordless phone.

• At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Leo".

• Sells the car for gas money.

• Studies for a blood test and fails.

• Misses the 22 bus, and takes the 11 twice instead.

• Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

• Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.



Mokkachamy Arul Vaaku…..!!!!


"Have you ever read Shakespeare?"

Mokkachamy : "No, who wrote it?"


Mokkachamy ordered a pizza and the waiter asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."


Why did Mokkachamy take with him 17 other peaople and go to a movie ?

Because below 18 are not allowed.


Name Translation Mokkai…


Na + tara + jan => No + Star + Life =~ Starless Life

The translation of the Kannan Natarajan is Ian Walking.... Here is how:

Kann + an --> Eye + an --> I + an --> Ian

Nata + rajan --> Walk + king --> Walking

Kan + nan --> Eye + Bread --> Ibread

Kan + Nan --> Eye + Wheat -->Wheat-i -----> Arrow

Kan + Nan --> Eye + ME --> I + Windows (ME) --> iWindows


"Indha madhiri…. Neraya irukkunga…. Ayooo Ayooo"


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FAQ


Q : Yaen adhu Mok(KAI)... Why not mok(KAAL) ????


UNANSWERED


"Yaarukkaavadhu Therinja Sollunga pa….

Enakku Mokkai eh yosikka vera theriyaadhu…

So.. Pleaseeee help me…. "